Despite your best efforts your home seems to be constantly messy. You don’t actually want to live in a messy home, but no matter what you do, that mess seems to creep back in moments after you’ve tidied up.
And you are certainly sick of having to spend weekends tidying or arguing with your partner over the mess.
Does any of this sound relatable? Because it was my reality for years.
I grew up with a hoarder, and escaped the family home as soon as I could. Only to find that no matter where I lived, I just wasn’t able to ever get to a stage where my home was neat and tidy.
This was so frustrating, as I thought I’d left mess behind, but no matter where I moved to, the mess seemed to follow soon after.
My first college dorm room was tiny, with very little storage, so that was my excuse.
My next college dorm room was massive, but still most of my stuff was in boxes on the floor or strewn across the bed.
I moved to NYC and lived in a basement room without proper storage furniture, so I had a mess again.
Later I moved to a series of apartments, some small, some large, some with very little storage and others with plenty.
But the common thread in all of them was mess. Not massive amounts of mess. I did try. But enough mess to be embarrassing if friends were stopping by at short notice. And enough mess to cause me frustration and eat into my time.
It’s not until fairly recently (and it’s still a work in progress) that I finally cracked the code to getting rid of the mess and living in a tidy house.
So, how can you escape the mess?
First of all, let’s look at a few possible causes of the mess.
- Priorities:
Mess can happen to busy people. When you are balancing work, children, a household and countless other obligations, managing possessions can simply slip down the list of priorities.
- Habit:
No one is born knowing how to tidy and organise. We learn these skills from others. If we don’t have a good role model as a child it can be hard to implement these skills as an adult.
- Shopping habits:
So many of us struggle with this one. And it’s no surprise, as we are constantly bombarded with messages encouraging us to buy the latest and greatest trend, gadget or toy. Shopping can give us a dopamine hit in the moment. But if it results in over spending or the home filling up with unused and unwanted objects, it starts to become a problem.
- Lack of storage:
Just as you can’t fit a square peg into a round hole, you can’t fit lots of stuff into a small container.
- Lack of systems for storing possessions:
Not only do you need to have storage spaces, you also need to have them set up effectively. Having a large closet is of no use if things are just piled in there (trust me, know!)
- No system for editing and purging items that are no longer useful:
Most of us have routines for shopping, but far fewer of us have routines for going through and getting rid of stuff. If more comes in than goes out it will become messy!
- Mental health issues:
Sadly these are chronically under-diagnosed and are still often considered taboo to talk about. Challenges in personal self-care and care for one’s living environment can be a symptom of an untreated mental health issue.
- Too much stuff:
It all boils down to this one. If you have more stuff than you can manage you will have a messy home!
What’s the solution to a messy home?
The most effective solution to a messy house is simply to own less stuff.
I’d love to say that finding this solution was an amazing epiphany. That it suddenly allowed me to get rid of most of my possessions and live happily ever after in a tranquil, beautiful space.
For some people, it is that simple. Joshua Becker of Becoming minimalist talks about his epiphany moment here.
But it wasn’t that simple for me.
Because, for me at any rate, massive change doesn’t happen overnight. It happens through a series of steps taken over a period of time.
But what I have found, by being a lot more intentional over the last couple of years in what I bring in and keep in my home, is that my house is tidier than it’s ever been.
And more importantly, it’s much easier to keep clean and tidy. (This is in spite of having a young child who seems to be on a mission to play with everything she owns all of the time!)
I am now able to enjoy my home, and I no longer have doorbell dread if someone stops by. I can spend my weekends doing stuff I enjoy rather than sorting through piles of clothes.
So I encourage you, if you are feeling hounded by mess, to evaluate how much of the stuff in your home you truly need and use. And consider whether you can get rid of some of it.
If you do, then you will have learned to escape a messy home without having to escape FROM your home. And I can promise you will find the task of keeping your home tidier much easier.
