For decades my home was plagued by clutter. No matter how often I cleaned, sorted or donated, the clutter kept creeping back in.

Every time I moved (which was a lot!) I vowed that in this fresh, new space things would be different. But soon the clutter crept back in, and the pile of unopened boxes that travelled with me on every move continued to grow.

So clearly the problem was not the space I was living in. The problem had to be me. Or more specifically, the habits and behaviours I was subconsciously repeating that were leading to clutter.

It’s taken a long time to break this cycle, and I am still learning. 

But I’ve picked up a lot of useful strategies along the way.

So in this post I will share with you how habits are built, and how you can use your habits for a clutter-free home.

My favourite book on habit change, by a long shot, is Atomic Habits by James Clear. In it he describes the four stages of a habit:

Cue, Craving, Response, Reward

The cue is the trigger. The craving is what we want. The response is the action we take. And the reward is what we gain.

Habits can be good or bad, depending on whether the reward is a helpful one or not.

So the reward of a dopamine hit from drugs, alcohol or caffeine can reinforce a bad habit. And the reward of a dopamine hit from exercise or a lovely space can reinforce a good habit.

The trick is to be aware of the cues and rewards to steer them in the direction that you want.

For a deeper dive into the psychology behind the 4 stages of a habit you can read here.

What are habits, and how can they help us?

A habit is defined as:

“something that you do often and regularly, sometimes without knowing that you are doing it:”

Cambridge English Dictionary

If your house is very cluttered your first task will be to identify the negative habits that have led to it becoming this way. No amount of cleaning is going to help if the cause of the problem is not addressed.

Your next stages will be to declutter and then to organise. These are bigger, one-off projects and not habits. You need to get to a point where you can maintain the space for new habits to truly serve you.

So how can we use these habit stages for a clutter-free home?

Let’s look at each of these habit stages in turn.

Clutter-Free Habit Stage 1 – Cue

If all we need to start on a habit is a cue, surely our homes should be immaculate? Because if you have a messy house you have cues all around you. All the mess you can see should act as a cue to declutter or tidy up.

But it doesn’t.

Why is that?

Well those of us with messy homes, particularly if we have ADHD, struggle with filtering and prioritising these cues. 

And if we don’t know which of the cues to pay attention and respond to, we can end up ignoring them all.

These cues are also usually not urgent, so we put off the task for later. Which can translate to never.

So to actually cue a desirable action we need to be intentional in which cue we respond to and when we respond.

This is where starting small is key. 

How to successfully trigger clutter-free habits with cues:

First, you need a plan. Pick just one cue to trigger one action.

This cue should also be time-specific and linked to something you do already.

So for example, if you would like a cleaner, more organised kitchen start with the habit of washing and putting away all the dishes. And set a specific time to do this. 

How does this look in practice?

We have breakfast as a family in the morning. So the first habit to a clean kitchen is to have every family member clear their own plates and cups from the table and take them to the kitchen counter. The cue for this is finishing breakfast and getting up from the table.

Then my husband takes our daughter upstairs to help her get ready for school. That’s my cue to load the dishwasher and wash up anything that needs hand washing.

I do the school drop off, then come home to work. Before heading upstairs I step into the kitchen to fill my water bottle. That’s my cue to check that all the washing up is done and that counters are clean and clear.

By breaking this one task down to three stages I’m giving myself a much better chance of getting it completed. If my only cue was my daughter getting ready for school I would have to clear the table, load the dishwasher, hand wash and clean the counters in a very small time window. If I didn’t make it in this time the leftover mess would sit there till lunch. And then I’d be annoyed at failing at my goal.

So having staged cues gives you more opportunity to get the task finished.

When there is a lot of mess in the house doing the dishes may feel insignificant. You have plenty more to deal with.

But building a new, tidy habit is about training your brain, and like any new habit takes time to learn.

For more on this, check out this post How to Reach Your Goals Faster With Habit Stacking and get your habit stacking workbook here.

Clutter-Free Habit Stage 2 – Craving

If something truly doesn’t bother you, you will not be motivated to act on it. Our actions come as a result of wanting to satisfy desires (cravings).

So if you are not bothered by the state of your kitchen, you won’t crave the outcome of a tidy kitchen. But as you are reading this post I am assuming that you are bothered by things in your home.

So really connecting with your craving (your “Why”) will help motivate you to move towards a successful outcome.

Nobody wants to start the horrible jobs. In fact, your brain is wired to move you away from pain and towards pleasure. So it’s no surprise that you don’t feel motivated to start a task that feels like it will be unpleasant. That’s OK. And perfectly normal.

We don’t crave the action that leads to a positive outcome. We crave the outcome. There aren’t many people who crave the process of cleaning a kitchen. What many of us do crave though is the enjoyment of a beautiful, clean and uncluttered space.

This is why habits with quick outcomes are much more likely to stick than habits with rewards far off in the future. 

So although you may crave a clean and tidy home, don’t pick that as your habit goal. It’s going to take far too long to get to the reward for it to be motivating. Start small. With consistency, you’ll get to that clean and tidy home before you know it.

Now have you noticed that although you might normally put off cleaning, if someone is due to come over you suddenly find yourself very motivated to clean? That’s a cue and craving in action. You suddenly start craving a clean space to avoid embarrassment in front of your visitor.

How can we use cravings to motivate ourselves to declutter?

Keep connecting with your “Why”.

What is motivating is different for everyone, but here are a few ideas:

• A vision board of your ideal space
• A motivational quote in a prominent place
• A reminder in your diary
• A cleaning buddy coming over
• Booking a cleaner
• Inviting guests
• Putting on a decluttering video or podcast

Clutter-Free Habit Stage 3 – Response

So you are motivated and craving a tidy space. But motivation is useless without action. 

Now you need to make it as easy as possible to respond and take action on your cue.

If you want to get your dishes under control, but you don’t have enough storage space to put them away, you are going to struggle to respond. If the drainer or the sink is too full of other stuff then you are going to struggle to respond.

So a bit part of making your desired action a habit is making it as easy as possible. 

This is why I am a big believer in decluttering first, before you try to organise or maintain cleaning routines. You need to give yourself the space in which to organise and clean.

So before setting out to start a cleaning habit, make sure you have mastered your decluttering habit first. 

Decluttering is a bigger task that requires more thinking than routine tidying. But the principle remains the same. Start small, and give yourself specific cues to start it. This might be a weekly window when your family is out, or a nightly routine when you have time to yourself.

To make decluttering easy prepare your tools first. Grab a box and label it “donate”. And then a bag for trash and one for recycling. 

As you declutter, leave cues for the next response. So you might stack the trash bags by the door ready to take out to the rubbish. You might take the charity box straight to the car ready for taking to the charity shop.

And make sure you have an incentive to keep up the momentum. You might set yourself a timer to work against the clock. Or set a specific number of items to declutter. Whatever motivates you to keep up the momentum is good.

Clutter-Free Habit Stage 4 – Reward

This is a big one. So often we race on to the next task, forgetting to congratulate ourselves for what we have accomplished.

But for your new habit to stick you need to take a moment to enjoy the reward of your behaviour.

A clean, decluttered space can be a reward in and of itself. Even if that space is just a tiny part of your house.

So take a moment to enjoy the fruits of your labour. You might give yourself a high-five, do a happy dance or tick your win off in a habit tracker.

Before and after photos are a brilliant reward system. We even get a dopamine hit from looking at other people’s transformations (that’s why makeover shows are so popular). So take your own before and afters to remind yourself of what you’ve achieved. 

Take it a step further and share your wins on social media or by bringing a friend over. 

Using Habits for a Clutter-Free Home When You Have ADHD

The cue, craving, response reward sequence is even more important for ADHD brains. We have a hard time getting started and are easily distracted. So any break in the sequence can take us off task.

Firstly make the cues really obvious. Out of sight is out of mind, so at least when starting out with a new habit you may need to be utilising a lot of reminders of your cue. 

Reminders include:

• Post it notes
• Phone or app reminders
• Alarms
• A habit tracker
• An accountability buddy to check in with
• A support group
• A coach

My habit stacking workbook has some more ideas.

If you have a tendency to procrastinate by focussing on something other than your desired task give yourself a little menu of options. Now I don’t recommend taking on too many habits at once, but a few small and varied options might be just what you need to stay interested.

Remember too to focus on the reward. You might need to vary the rewards to keep things interesting and maintain the habit.

ADHD brains are great at starting something new but much less good at follow-through and consistency. Which makes the motivation part of habit formation even more key. 

So to make sure that your habits for a clutter-free home stick, make sure you are planning your cue, craving, response and reward.

An accountability partner is the fastest way of making your new habit stick.

For personal support and accountability check out my declutter coaching services.

The post Hack your Habits for a Clutter-Free Home appeared first on Go Win at Life.

If you’ve ever found yourself frantically trying to find keys, glasses or important documents before running out the door then this post is for you.

If you ever feel stressed, anxious or overwhelmed in your home, then this post is also for you.

Read on to find out how decluttering can be the solution to your home-related stresses.

I used to get really stressed out by my home. I felt that no matter how hard I tried, my house was a mess again moments after tidying.

This was even before I had my daughter. Once a child came into the mix it got even harder. I felt angry with myself for not being able to get it done, frustrated with my husband for not doing his share and a bit confused and envious when I saw friends with young children who apparently could keep their homes looking guest-ready 24-7.

Feeling frustrated, angry and envious was not great for my self-esteem. I was overwhelmed enough with the cocktail of emotions and hormones that motherhood brings. I didn’t need to be beating myself up anymore.

But looking at a mess in my home was confronting my shortcomings daily.

Why Does Clutter Matter?

In some ways, clutter seems so insignificant that it shouldn’t even be a problem.

Who cares if we have stuff out? Anyone who really cares for us shouldn’t be put off by the state of our home. Right?

Well, actually, clutter goes much deeper than just looks.

Clutter is evidence that something is not quite right in your life. 

Studies have shown that for women, in particular, there is a strong link between mess in the home and stress levels. The findings are summarised in this article, discussing how less clutter can reduce stress.

This is something that I can totally relate to. 

I find that I can turn a blind eye to mess for a little while. But eventually, it gets to a point where I just lose it. 

I feel overwhelmed and totally stressed out by all the stuff, and take it out on those around me.

And I’ll go on a tidying rampage.

The thing is, for a long time this was a repeating pattern. The problem was, that until I tackled the source of the clutter, the mess would keep creeping back in.

It’s only when I drastically reduced the amount of stuff that I have to deal with that my tidying efforts actually had lasting effects.

This ties into an idea referred to as a “silent to do list”.

A silent to-do list basically means that every object in our line of vision is calling for our attention in some way.

This term was coined by Fumio Sasaki in his book on minimalism, ‘Goodbye, Things’.

So dirty dishes may be calling “wash me”, toys on the floor may be calling “pick me up”, food on the counter may be calling “Put me away”.

Can you imagine how noisy and stressful it would be if you could actually hear each item in your home calling for your attention?

But that’s what is happening subconsciously. All the items you can see are calling for your attention.

When you are feeling relaxed, energetic and strong they might be easy to deal with. You pick them up, you wash them, you dust, you put them away.

But what happens when you are not feeling so good? When you are busy and overwhelmed with other responsibilities?

Then all of those items calling for your attention start to be a real source of stress and anxiety.

This is when having a decluttered home really becomes an act of self-care. 

You can hear Dawn, from the Minimal Mom talk about how she uses the idea of a silent to do list in this YouTube video.

When life gets busy and hard you need your home working for you, and not against you.

And your home can be the tool that supports you in tough times.

Your home has a job to do for you. Your home is a tool to support your ideal life.

Coming into your home should feel relaxing, comfortable and easy.

The belongings in your home should support your needs and align with your values.

And if they don’t, you need to ask yourself why.

How to declutter for self-care:

• Be clear on your values
• Remove items from your home which do not align with your values
• Remove items which trigger negative memories or emotions
• Keep only as much as you can comfortably manage to keep organised and tidy
• Set clear criteria for what comes into your home
• Build daily habits to keep your space clean and organised
• Remember, a small action is better than no action

What the ideal home looks like is going to look different for everyone. 

Your home doesn’t have to be Instagram ready all the time. Not unless that’s what you value of course. 

And what your ideal home looks like is also going to look different for you at different times of life.

Like the flat that works for you in Uni won’t work anymore when you have a partner and family of your own.

And a family home may no longer work when you are a single and retired person. 

So your home should support who you are now, and the phase of life that you are in now.

So the final part of a decluttering journey is setting up the systems to maintain your space.

And making sure that these systems fit in with your lifestyle.

All the elements I’ve spoken about are what we work through in my declutter coaching sessions.

Of course, all of the things I’ve mentioned are things that you can do yourself.

But will you really?

Even though you may know that you should declutter, it’s not always easy to do it.

Decluttering is a lot like a diet or exercise regime. Sometimes you really need a boost from a personal trainer to get the job done.

And other times you might feel really overwhelmed and stuck. And that’s where the coaching really makes a huge difference as you don’t have to go it alone.

The bonus of conducting declutter coaching online is that you don’t have to be embarrassed about inviting a stranger into your home.

You get to choose how much you share. And we work at a pace that suits you.

In my coaching sessions we work together to identify where you are currently in life. And we consider how your home can best support you.

So if your home is not supporting you as well as it should, I’d love to help you get it there.

Go to my declutter coaching page, and book yourself a FREE discovery call.

While you are there you can also sign up for my weekly newsletter, in which, as well as lots of great content, you’ll get a weekly declutter challenge to work through.

The post Could Decluttering be Your Ultimate Act of Self-Care? appeared first on Go Win at Life.

It’s a lot easier to save money than it is to increase the amount coming in. But how can you actually do that (without just living on rice and beans – yuck!)

I’ve rounded up 7 of the best personal finance blogs with useful tips you can actually follow to save money and still live a good life.

1. Making Sense of Cents

Michelle at Making Sense of Cents  has so many good financial tips that you may not need to go anywhere else. Oh, and she has also achieved a level of financial freedom that allows her and her husband to live on a luxury yacht and cruise the world.

But even if you get seasick at the very thought, I suggest putting a good chunk of time aside to wade through her posts on making and saving money.

If you are interested in blogging Michelle is a great resource too, especially as she shares her income reports. Just make sure you are sitting down the you read them as they are pretty spectacular!

2. Finnsavvy Panda

Ling at Finsavvy Panda has a great approach. Her philosophy is that you don’t need to cut back on the things you enjoy to save money. Instead you become more intentional with your spending.

Here is a super straight talking post that teaches you where you can limit your spending to cut the unnecessary things out of your life. You can even make money doing it! Check out her post Things to Stop Buying to Save Money.

What I like best about Ling’s blog is that she speaks from personal experience. All the strategies she talks about she has implemented herself. She has also made a good income and substantial savings in the process.

3. Living Well Spending Less

Living Well Spending Less  is another blog which has grown way beyond it’s roots into a multi media mini empire. Routh Soukup started the blog focussing on lifestyle and money saving tips.

Now it has grown to encompass so much more that you have to dig around to find the money saving element. However it is still packed with lots of practical advise from Ruth herself, and from her growing team of writers. Here is a shortcut to the money saving bits: Smart Money

4. Fun Cheap or Free

Jordan Page makes money fun! You can follow her blog at Fun Cheap or Free

This mum of a gazillion children still manages to look fabulous and hold it all together, all the while teaching us to live a fabulous lifestyle on very little.

If reading loads of text is not your thing then this one is for you. Jordan has Youtube videos linked to her posts. She tells it like it is, and shows you exactly what she means.

This blog has grown Jordan a huge following, and not without good reason. Start here to find out how and when you should do a spending freeze. 

5. The Busy Budgeter

The Busy Budgeter is full of straightforward, practical tips, like this article on how to set up your budget to make it easy to stick to. 

As well as budgeting and saving money, Rosemarie has plenty of tips to organise your home and get your meals under control.

On top of her own content, Rosemarie shares guest posts to bring you a range of tips. Between Rosemarie and her guests you’ll find something for you whatever your situation.

6. Dave Ramsey

So this one isn’t strictly a blog, as it has grown way beyond that to become a global brand, but you could do a lot worse than follow Dave Ramsey.

Dave Ramsey is one of those people that you either love or you hate. I must confess to starting in the hate camp at first impressions. There is a loud, know it all American brashness about the way he tackles his talk show that can grate on you if you are not used to it.

But I gave him a chance, and actually found a lot of hugely useful content. I’ll admit that I know his Youtube channel better than the blog. However the messaging is the same throughout – Get out of debt, stay out of debt, earn more and save.

You’ll have to dig through a lot of promotional content on his site to actually find the blog, so here is the short cut. Most of the articles are U.S. centric, but the general principles can be applied no matter where you live.

Want a list of practical tips for saving money from one of the titans of budgeting? Here you go

7. Money Saving Expert

No money saving blog list would be complete without Money Saving Expert. 

Though it is now way more than just a blog (Martin started this now huge site as just a weekly email to friends back in 2003) this is still an excellent site for saving money.

Now a dedicated team of researchers and writers brings you top tips on every money saving topic you could imagine.

The big advantage with this site, as opposed to many others, is that it does not allow sponsored content, affiliate or advertising. So the recommendations are truly independent. 

To quote Martin: “The average person in the UK can give themselves the equivalent of a 25% pay rise by being an active, savvy consumer and shifting to the very best deals. This site’s here to show you how.”

https://www.moneysavingexpert.com/site/about-the-site/

What’s not to like about a 25% pay rise? Sign me up!

If the main site is a little too impersonal for you, Martin also has his own blog. Here in addition to money saving tips you can get a weekly dose of his views on many different subjects. Of course these are all viewed through the lens of a savvy money saver. 

On the downside, a lot of the content on both the blog and the main site is review based. This means you find out which products are best, but it doesn’t help with financial strategy.

As it’s a consumer website you might find out which credit card had the best rates for you. However you may not be told that you would be better off without one at all.

I hope these blogs inspire and help you to save more money so you can live a rich life.

Are there any favourites I’ve missed? Let me know in the comments below!

The post 7 Best Money Saving Blogs to Follow appeared first on Go Win at Life.