Today I’ll share with you how decluttering your home is an act of self-care.
If you’ve ever found yourself frantically trying to find keys, glasses or important documents before running out the door then this post is for you.
If you ever feel stressed, anxious or overwhelmed in your home, then this post is also for you.
Read on to find out how decluttering can be the solution to your home-related stresses.
I used to get really stressed out by my home. I felt that no matter how hard I tried, my house was a mess again moments after tidying.
This was even before I had my daughter. Once a child came into the mix it got even harder. I felt angry with myself for not being able to get it done, frustrated with my husband for not doing his share and a bit confused and envious when I saw friends with young children who apparently could keep their homes looking guest-ready 24-7.
Feeling frustrated, angry and envious was not great for my self-esteem. I was overwhelmed enough with the cocktail of emotions and hormones that motherhood brings. I didn’t need to be beating myself up anymore.
But looking at a mess in my home was confronting my shortcomings daily.
Why Does Clutter Matter?
In some ways, clutter seems so insignificant that it shouldn’t even be a problem.
Who cares if we have stuff out? Anyone who really cares for us shouldn’t be put off by the state of our home. Right?
Well, actually, clutter goes much deeper than just looks.
Clutter is evidence that something is not quite right in your life.
Studies have shown that for women, in particular, there is a strong link between mess in the home and stress levels. The findings are summarised in this article, discussing how less clutter can reduce stress.
This is something that I can totally relate to.
I find that I can turn a blind eye to mess for a little while. But eventually, it gets to a point where I just lose it.
I feel overwhelmed and totally stressed out by all the stuff, and take it out on those around me.
And I’ll go on a tidying rampage.
The thing is, for a long time this was a repeating pattern. The problem was, that until I tackled the source of the clutter, the mess would keep creeping back in.
It’s only when I drastically reduced the amount of stuff that I have to deal with that my tidying efforts actually had lasting effects.
This ties into an idea referred to as a “silent to do list”.
A silent to-do list basically means that every object in our line of vision is calling for our attention in some way.
This term was coined by Fumio Sasaki in his book on minimalism, ‘Goodbye, Things’.
So dirty dishes may be calling “wash me”, toys on the floor may be calling “pick me up”, food on the counter may be calling “Put me away”.
Can you imagine how noisy and stressful it would be if you could actually hear each item in your home calling for your attention?
But that’s what is happening subconsciously. All the items you can see are calling for your attention.
When you are feeling relaxed, energetic and strong they might be easy to deal with. You pick them up, you wash them, you dust, you put them away.
But what happens when you are not feeling so good? When you are busy and overwhelmed with other responsibilities?
Then all of those items calling for your attention start to be a real source of stress and anxiety.
This is when having a decluttered home really becomes an act of self-care.
You can hear Dawn, from the Minimal Mom talk about how she uses the idea of a silent to do list in this YouTube video.
When life gets busy and hard you need your home working for you, and not against you.
And your home can be the tool that supports you in tough times.
Your home has a job to do for you. Your home is a tool to support your ideal life.
Coming into your home should feel relaxing, comfortable and easy.
The belongings in your home should support your needs and align with your values.
And if they don’t, you need to ask yourself why.
How to declutter for self-care:
- Be clear on your values
- Remove items from your home which do not align with your values
- Remove items which trigger negative memories or emotions
- Keep only as much as you can comfortably manage to keep organised and tidy
- Set clear criteria for what comes into your home
- Build daily habits to keep your space clean and organised
- Remember, a small action is better than no action
What the ideal home looks like is going to look different for everyone.
Your home doesn’t have to be Instagram ready all the time. Not unless that’s what you value of course.
And what your ideal home looks like is also going to look different for you at different times of life.
Like the flat that works for you in Uni won’t work anymore when you have a partner and family of your own.
And a family home may no longer work when you are a single and retired person.
So your home should support who you are now, and the phase of life that you are in now.
So the final part of a decluttering journey is setting up the systems to maintain your space.
And making sure that these systems fit in with your lifestyle.
All the elements I’ve spoken about are what we work through in my declutter coaching sessions.
Of course, all of the things I’ve mentioned are things that you can do yourself.
But will you really?
Even though you may know that you should declutter, it’s not always easy to do it.
Decluttering is a lot like a diet or exercise regime. Sometimes you really need a boost from a personal trainer to get the job done.
And other times you might feel really overwhelmed and stuck. And that’s where the coaching really makes a huge difference as you don’t have to go it alone.
The bonus of conducting declutter coaching online is that you don’t have to be embarrassed about inviting a stranger into your home.
You get to choose how much you share. And we work at a pace that suits you.
In my coaching sessions we work together to identify where you are currently in life. And we consider how your home can best support you.
So if your home is not supporting you as well as it should, I’d love to help you get it there.
Go to my declutter coaching page, and book yourself a FREE discovery call.
While you are there you can also sign up for my weekly newsletter, in which, as well as lots of great content, you’ll get a weekly declutter challenge to work through.
